Tank Top

Maybe I like the way I look in a tank top.

I would never wear one to school or anything. My boobs would bust out of it like nobody's business. But, maybe I like to lounge around my house in a tank top and stupid little short short pajama shorts that came in a pack with my pajama pants.

Maybe it's because I have stretch marks but I still like my body.

I had problems with myself for a really long time, but this year especially has made me realize that I like me for me and I don't want to change that.

I Am Lazy

I have a new phone.

I am going to the movies with my brother and Kiri today.

Nothing else exciting to report.

Maybe I'll actually put some thought into a blog post tomorrow or sometimes this week.

Sorry about ignoring this for so long.

The Fair

The ferris wheel was huge. I've always loved to watch which way the lights travel on the big ferris wheel.

It was the kind of day that I imagine songwriters write songs about. I ran into people I knew, I discovered that I actually really like hanging out with a certain person I was hanging out with (HUNTER), there was drama between my sister and I.

The first thing Hunter made me do was ride The Zipper. I promised him I would do it when I told him I would go to the fair. It was... crazy. To say the least. That ride is rusty and scary and totally insane. I can't believe I rode it. But, if he is at the fair today, I am probably going to do it again.

Fried food was thick in the air. That's one of my favorite parts. As soon as you walk in, the food stands are there, making french fries and funnel cakes, and fried Oreos. I have never had a fried Oreo, but, I might get one in honor of a running thing I have with my friend Kayla. (She lives in California, you probably wouldn't know her.)

There was an Elvis impersonator. I love the performers they have at the fair. I don't know why, but, they make me giggle. I especially love it when they talk to the audience. They are so excited, you can tell, and the audience eats it up.

Kiri is going to be at the fair today, so I am going again. I don't get to talk to her during school much, so I'm excited to see her.

Wish me luck! Hopefully I don't die on The Zipper...

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE

1. Beatles Rock Band today. Very very cool. Too cool to describe, true story.

2. I love this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGs_fa9dG0M

3. I am writing a novel in a month and I think I might actually finish.

4. I left my algebra binder in school today and I am kicking myself pretty damn hard over it. FML.

5. I love you, bloggity blogs. Sorry I never write.

Revelations and School

Revelations made today:

Jason Segel was once on an episode of CSI: Original Flavor and he walks into a room the same exact way no matter what character he is playing.

I care about my friends more than myself sometimes, and I care about myself more than anything other times. I'm dying to quench my own thirst for violence toward this person but I don't want to regress to the girl I was then.

I love people. And I keep on imagining that they love me, but, I'm not sure that they feel what I feel and that weirds me out. I wish there was a way to know!


So, school has been back in session.

Hunter and I have chorus together.

:)

Kiri and I do not.

:(

Things could be a lot worse. I have been having a pretty great time in school lately. It feels good to be back around the people I was curious about/missing for the past three months.

It feels like no time has passed at all, now. It feels like that three month summer was just a weekend.

Glass Houses

Picture a house.

The house is placed at the top of a hill, away from the rest of the homes in the area. The wall facing out is mostly glass, a lot of windows that frame a beautiful view of the outside world.

You live in this house.

In the world, there are two kinds of people. (I love this sort of metaphor.) One kind of person might not be able to live in a house like this. They would feel like the whole world was looking in on them, watching. Another kind of person would feel relaxed and at home, enjoying the view.

Two kinds of people, plain and simple.

Which kind of person are you, anonymous reader/friends who read my blog?

There are a few things I would like to say...

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and there are a few things about myself that I would like to say.

I use my age as an excuse.

I use it as a reason why I don't need/have a boyfriend. I use it as a reason why I don't have a job. Things that are reasonable, but, they are excuses. I am crazy about men forty and over and I tell myself again and again, like a mantra that it's ok not to have any affection returned to me. For various reasons.

And it is ok!

No, don't get me wrong. I don't lie. And when I say that I am ok with not having guys romantically interested or involved with me, I am ok with it. I don't cry myself to sleep over it.

But, still. I tell myself all these stupid things. When I'm in college, I'll get out of here and find one of my various dream guys and we can ride off into some cardboard-and-paint sunset that I already have all measured and cut in the back of my mind.

Sometimes, I just dread change. New people, new environments. But, only in some circumstances. It's really hard to explain. The change of New York City sidewalk under my feet is welcome, but, the change of a new place of work when I turn 16 where a new person will tell me what to do scares the shit out of me.

So, I use my age as an excuse to escape these things. I'm the youngest of four kids. I'm 15, now. Getting closer to those scary ages that don't let me weasel out of things.

I love myself.

I think I might be one of the only teens who heard every self confidence building tip, listened, basically ignored them, made my own self confidence building technique, used it, and actually likes them self.

I am overweight and I have acne and dandruff and no problem admitting that. Because, what the hell. What's the point in worrying about people staring at you when everyone gets stared at anyway? Good looking or not, there are going to be eyes on you. Through your whole life.

And, not to sound conceited (even though I am), I'm a funny, smart, pretty girl with good tastes. I don't see why some jerks who don't know the difference between their ass and their elbow should get to decide what I think of myself. My friends love me, my family loves me, and if anyone else wants in on my life, they will have to love me- not despite the fact that I am overweight or anything, but, because of it.

Maybe I'll lose weight. Maybe I'll get braces and whiten my teeth. Maybe my acne will be cured by creams and maybe my dandruff will be destroyed by shampoos.

But, for right now, I am this person in this body. And I love it.

Thanks for reading.

I'm 15.

So, today is my birthday.

I guess I could blog about past birthdays, but, that would be boring.

I could blog about what it's like to be another year older, but, that would be boring.

The party I was going to have, and how only one of my friends is coming. Boring.

I will tell you how I'm celebrating by watching Stephen Colbert on YouTube, listening to Mike Doughty/Soul Coughing songs, and wearing sunglasses indoors.

So, happy birthday to me.

I GIVE UP.

I am officially quitting 100 Blogs in 100 Days. Sorry, you guys. I know the two of you reading will miss me dearly.

I beat out Michael Showalter, and that's good enough for me.

24/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Some of you may be looking at this blog post and saying to yourself 'Julia? Haven't you skipped 2 out of the 100 days already?'

Yes.

'So, why are you still calling it 100 Blogs in 100 Days?'

Because, it's a whole lot catchier than 100 Blogs in 102 Days.

'But, isn't that title a bit more accurate at this point?'

Yes. But, don't you see? It's not catchy at all. 100. The big one oh oh. That's what draws people in.

'But, Julia. Don't only 2 people ever read your blog anyway?'

Yes. Why are you being so mean to me?

'Well, I'm you. So why don't you ask yourself that?'

... You've got a point there. Wow, I make a lot of good points.

'How about this point: you're totally ripping off an idea from Michael Showalter's blog again. Why can't you go two seconds without doing something Showalter related?'

Shut up. He's really cool. You like him, too.

'Of course I do. We've been over that. I'm just the other line of text that you are writing to make it seem as if I am another person, when in reality, I'm you.'

Well, whatever. Have you seen the trailer for that Love Happens movie with Jennifer Aniston?

'Oh yeah! That looks like it would be right up your alley. Cheesy and such, you know?'

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I might even cry! It would be great.

'Don't you still have to see Julie & Julia while it's still in theaters?'

I'd like to, but, I'm not sure I'll get the chance.

'Oh, well, that blows. Don't you love Meryl Streep?'

Yup. And so do you. You also love staying up till 1:30AM every night/morning and talking to people about child psychology and Harry Potter. Just like me.

'Well, good luck with that. I gotta go.'

Yeah, me too. See you later.

23/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Today, I went to the beach with my family.

The sky was absolutely beautiful while we were packing everything up to go. It was all sorts of shades of pink and purple and blue. I love skies like that.

I was wondering if it looked that way for other people in other places that weren't at the beach with me and the rest of my family.

We were celebrating the three August birthdays we have in our family. I'm one of them. The last one. On August 23.

I got some great gifts from my brother and my sister in law while we were up there. They gave me the first one when we first got there because my nephew was eager to give it to me. He handed me the gift, and I could tell it was a book, and he says "We got this at the book store."

It was so cute. My sister in law sort of laughed and yelled at him and he told me to open it. I loved everything they gave me.

I love my family.

Now, I'm watching the latest episode of Michael & Michael Have Issues (Wednesdays at 10:30 PM, you should all watch) for the third time because my brother hasn't seen it yet.

Can't wait for some sleep. Maybe a shower. Fun day.

22/100 Blogs in 100 Days

This is an elbow.

This is an elbow on crack.

Meet Michael Showalter's elbow.

The elbow of the man I love.

Now I'm talking to my good friend Matt. He's awesome amazing and I love him a lot.

Nothing to blog about today. I will be back with more awesomeness tomorrow.

21/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Have you ever watched the show Seinfeld?

I love this show. It's so perfect. Everything ties together so hilariously.

My sister always gets so angry at George whenever we watch.

I just laugh. I love to hate, and hate to love George. And Jerry, for that matter.

The entire cast is perfectly flawed.

I love this show.



(And I know this is the second time in a row that I have almost missed the cut for 100 Blogs. I'm terribly sorry. I'm gonna get my act together. I promise!)

20/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I just spent precious blogging time fighting with my sister.

I'm sorry, but, today isn't going to be a real blog. I have things to say, but, I can't formulate any real thoughts right now.

I'll blog about what a beautiful day it was tomorrow when I'm not caught up in a night that sucked.

Or, rather, a small portion of the night that really messed with my mood.

I'm not up for it. Sorry.

This is just to keep up appearances for the Blogging Everyday Thing.

19/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Dear Green Day,

Thank you for sucking.

I haven't listened to A Quick One from RnR Circus since sometime last year or something.

I fucking love A Quick One from RnR Circus.

Pete is wearing the white pants. How much better does it get?

Without you, it probably would have taken me a hell of a lot longer to rediscover it.

Thank god for you doing it terribly.

Love,

Your Non Fan,

Julia

Today, I volunteered at the library for a kid's party. It was a lot of work. I was exhausted and starving when I got home. But, it was fun. The kids were cute. I got to bring home cake.

Now, my mom is watching Law & Order and I am trying to think of ways to cheer up my friend Kayla. Also, a new and exciting discovery: you can call Monk (you know, Adrian Monk the OCD detective) Monkey. Isn't that adorable and amazing?

And there is one warning I would just like to put out there. If I get Rick Rolled one more time, I might have to smash every computer in my house until all that's left is a dust that stinks of Rick Astley and technology.

18/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I went to the dentist to get my second and last cavity filled.

Now the entire right side of my face is numb like a motherfucker.

It's a great, great feeling as you can imagine.

I have bit myself twice. It's probably gonna hurt when my lip comes to.

Not much else going on today.

Tomorrow, I am going to be volunteering at the library for a summer reading party.

Something interesting will probably happen.

Tune in then.

17/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I went to Wendy's with my sister and my mom today.

My sister and I fought. It's a usual occurrence.

My mom and I had pleasant, engaging conversation. Fortunately, that too is a usual occurrence.

Ruth (sister) and I were on thin ice before we left, anyway, because of something atrocious that a band she likes did to a band I love and hold near and dear to my heart.

Now, I've never flat out hated Green Day. They are talented boys who obviously have something to offer, or they wouldn't have stuck around so long. But, I've never worshiped them, either. They are sort of mediocre in my book. I like some of their early songs and American Idiot isn't that bad of an album. I like it, in fact.

But, I'm sort of sick of it.

I feel like Billy Joe just keeps on saying the same thing over and over just because he has a microphone.

We heard you the first time, Bill.

So, when I found out that Green Day did a cover of A Quick One (While He's Away), one of my all time favorite creations of my beloved band The Who, I wasn't all that excited.

I heard it and discovered that this feeling was justified.



This song is not the sort of song that bands who are not The Who can pull off. Keith Moon, John Entwistle, Pete Townshend, and Roger Daltrey all really make it their own. It belongs to them. I can forgive people for covering most Who songs. I'll never like the other versions, I don't think, but I can forgive them.

However, there is a list of their songs that are off limits.

A Quick One is one of those songs.

So, Green Day, let's agree that you should stop doing this song live and pissing off Who fans. It hurts all of us, you know?

And Billy Joe, if my memory is correct, I think you've seen Roger naked. I know that must make you feel like you know him pretty well. Well, you don't know him well enough to sing his part of this song. And, if I heart right, you fucked up the lyrics to Pete's part as well.

It really upsets me to hear people do these things to the songs I love. Pete tried to do it solo without Keith, John, and Roger and I nearly cried.

Everyone stop fucking around with the music I love. Goodness.

16/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I found an old journal last night.

It's from the winter of 2006.

I almost cried, reading about myself.

On Christmas, I was actually excited to see my dad. I was excited to see his reaction to a gift I bought him.

I can't remember ever being really excited to see my dad. We don't get along that well, he and I.

I remember that Christmas, though. I got him a crossword book. We did a crossword together. I didn't want to stay much longer after that. I remember staring off into space and wondering how many more hours it would last. He wanted us to sing a carol for my aunt.

I don't care much for her, either.

Other than Christmas, there was a lot in the journal about an old teacher I had a crush on and Hugh Laurie.

It must have been around the first time I watched The Baxter, too, because that is all up in there. It's a great movie, and I still love it to death, but, I was obsessed. All over the place are references to it and how I want to meet a Baxter and junk.

I was and am such a nerd.

It feels odd to look back on a time you don't always remember clearly. The memories are hazy, but, you can still recall most of them.

I can see myself opening that journal and scribbling in it furiously about love and life. As if I knew anything about it in 2006.

I talked a lot about a kid named Ian I used to know. Last time we talked, some time in 8th grade, he said he was bisexual. He's gay. I don't know if he has come out yet, but, he is. I might be more discrete about it if he weren't such an asshole.

When I was writing the journal, I was in love with him, though. I don't know why. Looking back, he really wasn't all that great.

I think I liked him so much because he was a city boy from Philly. I wanted to be a city girl so badly. I still do.

I should start keeping a handwritten journal again. Even though it can be heartbreaking, it's nice to have glimpses into who you used to be that aren't blurred by who you are now.

15/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I'm sick of finding reminders of her strewn around my day to day life.

I'm tired of having to remember the good and the bad and the warnings that she was bad for me that I ignored.

I wish I could just paint over that part of my life with paint and pens and make sure that she never showed up in the first place.

But, I can't. She's a part of my history now and I can't erase that.

At least I can say with honesty that I don't care about her anymore. I don't care enough to stay up with her until 4AM just because she wants to. I don't care enough to worry when she stops eating just so people will notice. I don't even care enough to fight with her anymore.

I thought that our "friendship" would last. I genuinely did. It seemed at the time like we had everything in common.

But, all we had in common was a need for attention. I needed it just as badly when I met her. I changed who I was. I told her I was insecure and unsure about everything, just like she told me the same thing. We cried together. But, mine were crocodile tears. I don't hate my body, I don't hate myself. And from now on, I won't say it out loud anymore. I'll leave that to her.

Because she is the one who needs to use people. She is the one who only really talks to people who are thousands of miles away.

One of these days, she might realize what really matters. Or she'll go through life sucking the life out of others.

I got out with some left in me, and now I'm actually living a life. I'm not the chalk outline of a human being I was when I was with her.

Now, I have friends who I really love to be with and talk to. Friends I have things in common with. Friends who make me laugh. Next time a "friend" starts making me feel like I have to be miserable, I'm dropping them before I waste three years on them.

I deserve better. So does everybody else.

14/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Sometimes, all you need is a long walk and a long talk to work something out with someone.

Sometimes, it takes a little more than that.

I'm glad for the days I can spend talking to people I like to talk to, or at least talking about things I like to talk about.

I'm glad for days like this, when there is no reason to cry. No reason to be upset.

I'm glad for my friends and glad for my family (most days.)

The world needs more moments that remind us what's important and what luck really is.

I sound like a sap, but, I don't care. You oughtta know it's true.

13/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I don't mind not getting comments from people.

What is this but a diary, after all. I've had a friend comment on my diary and I didn't like that very much. Why are comments so different?

I love comments here. Probably because I tailor my words to the mind of my readers. I don't necessarily just say what I know you want to hear, but, I definitely restrict myself in places I wouldn't in a diary.

Your comments are a gift and a privilege, not something to be demanded.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It applies to every website I post on.

So, don't feel like you have to comment just because you're my friend or because you want to make me feel better. Comment when you like what I write or have something to say. That's what comments are for, right?

I love you guys for reading. Thank you all so much.

12/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I Spend Too Much Time On YouTube Edition:


Sandwich Commandements - Michael Showalter


Wilco Cover - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart


Porcupine Racetrack


Road Trip - sweetafton23


Microphone - Coconut Records

This might seem like I'm not blogging, but, it's not a cop out. I promise.

Reasons Why This Is Not A Cop Out:
1. I love sandwiches and Mike Showalter (see banner for this blog.)
2. I like Wilco and that cover of a Wilco song. There I blogged about it. Meh.
3. Porcupine Racetracik is hilarious and I love Michael Showalter.
4 & 5. Road Trip is a good song and so is Microphone.

I know I'm a lazy son of a bitch, but, whatever. I've been watching House nonstop for the past few days. That's all that's really on my mind. Would you rather I rambled more about doctors having thousands of outfits?

11/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Things that are awesome about today:

1. I walked around the lake I live at to get some pizza with my brother and my sister.

John was really nice about walking back home up the hill by our house. I was having a hard time and he waited for me, made me laugh.

2. Played Rock Band with John and did a pretty good job on the mic.

3. Went with my mom to drop my sister off at work and we bought Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job Season 3.

Uncle Bob Odekirk is on this season! I love the Rascals episode.

4. On the way home, a dickhead car driver made us all laugh.

He flipped us off when we yelled at him after he passed us and ended up right next to us for a few minutes. When he did actually get to drive away, he yelled at me and mom mom to lose some weight.

Made us all laugh. We celebrated with

5. donuts and milkshakes/smoothies.

All in all, today was good.

10/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I love Rawk Bawnd. Why am I using Ws? I have no idea.

My latest art that I have been working hard to sharpen is playing guitar (on Rock Band) and singing the song at the same time. I'm not that bad at it, if it's the right song. It's actually sort of fun.

I do have problems with Rock Band, though.

Here is an open letter to whatever fuckheads designed the drum controller:

Dear Fuckheads,
Have you ever watched a person drum on a real drumset? On the game you specifically designed the controller for, there are some songs by The Who. Have you ever seen Keith Moon, drummer for The Who, actually drum? He is a maniac. And not just for destroying the drumkit after the set is through, but, for the way he plays throughout the set itself.

So, what do you think happens when someone has to play, oh, let's say Amazing Journey by The
Who. They have to wail on that drumset pretty damn hard and fast to hit all the right notes, wouldn't you say? In order to keep up with Moon the Loon, one has to have the skillset to achieve it.

But, instead of considering Keith Moon (and other fast, hard drummers featured on your game) you designed a dinky, shitty little drum controller that can't withold being hit by sticks. Which, may I just point out, is what you were supposed to be making: Something someone hits with a pair of wooden sticks.

In my opinion, there is no defense for making something so shitty that we have had to replace ours twice already.

Kindly pull your heads out of your asses.

Rock Band Enthusiast (but maybe not for long),
Julia Bydulia

Thanks for reading, all. Love and kisses. :*

9/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I love that every doctor on House MD wears the snazziest clothes every day. None of them ever have an off day when they wear the wrong shoes or an ugly tie.

Way to make it obvious we're watching a television show, guys.

At least I love the clothes they wear. Cameron and Cuddy's wardrobes are siiiick.

It's just a little ridiculous. I mean, Cuddy has a pinstriped labcoat that she wears in one episode. After that episode, I don't think you ever see it again. They almost never repeat clothes except in Greg's wardrobe.

Maybe Wilson or Chase wears the same tie twice or something, but, come on. I know they are living on a doctor's salary, but, do they really by new clothes for every day of the week.

Not that it bothers me. On House MD, they can wear whatever the fuck they want. Because it's my favorite show. And that, my friends, is all that matters.

Here's a fun little game: watch anything- an interview or a clip of A Bit of Fry and Laurie- in which Hugh Laurie talks with his English accent, then watch House MD. It's fascinating.

8/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Today's Topic: Kristen Stewart Is A Horrible Role Model

What a surprise, right?

So far, I have heard stories (and seen the photographic proof) of her smoking pot and drinking. She is 19 years old. Last time I checked, that's underage.

She has so many little tween girls looking up to her because she plays Bella Swan- which is bad enough, mind you- and now she thinks it's cool to show them herself drinking and smoking pot? These girls are young and impressionable. I'm not saying that all of them are stupid enough to do things just because she does. But, come on. Some of them are stupid enough to buy a perfume for around $50 bucks to try to smell like Bella! They want to smell like a fictional girl who attracts vampires. What a genius strategy.

I know I'm not the first person to say any of this, but, it still pisses me off, so I'm saying it. What the hell is wrong with Kristen Stewart? And it's not as if she doesn't let it affect her. I've been saying since the first Twilight movie came out that she looks stoned in every interview she does. So, how long has this been going on?

Since her main role is to portray a girl in an abusive relationship (a relationship that is now the model for tween girls everywhere) who stays there and likes it, I think that outside of the movies she should at least make an attempt to tell girls to do the right thing. Don't do drugs and drink when you're 19, little girlies.

Why are girls like this our societies role models?

Now, Paige Railstone. Have you heard of her? She is the girl that people should be paying attention to. She's no angel, but, at least she's got talent. Unlike some people, who only have a talent for getting caught rolling joints.

7/100 Blogs in 100 Days

It's raining cats and dogs, boys and girls. Don't forget your umbrellas!

I went with my mom to drive my sister to work earlier today and I was taken aback by the amount of rain just flooding the roads. My plan was to see Kiri's play today but the show was sold out, and now, even if I do get tickets, my parents have to pick up my brother from the bus station, my sister from work, and they'd have to drop me off, all with these terrible roads.

Sometimes, my plans work out perfectly. And that's great. But, sometimes it seems like everything in the universe decided to fuck with my day.

I was so looking forward to seeing Kiri perform, but, now it seems like I won't get the chance. I'm not disappointed, I am devastated. This seems like my good ol' sarcasm, but, I'm being serious. I've been waiting for a chance to go with my sister and see her. This sucks.

I still love the rain, despite it's hateful attempts to keep me indoors. What a bastard. After all the times I have defended rain and all the times I have openly loved it in a room full of people against it. Fuck rain, you know?

BRB, y'all. I'm off to go us the rain to disguise my tears.

Update: I think I have tickets. Tears are no longer salty and bitter. Tears are sweet and awesome.

6/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I need pants.

When I find jeans I like, I ignore shorts and skirts for them. I love jeans. And usually buy just one pair at a time. Because I am not sensible when it comes to shopping for pants. I am emotional. And when pants don't fit, I give up. So, as soon as I find one pair that fits, I wear the hell out of them.

The jeans I have been wearing for a while are worn as fuck. I need a new pair.

So, yes. I need pants.

Pants, which are the lifeblood of--

Ok, I'll be honest with you. I have next to nothing to blog about today and the first thing that popped into my head was the fact that I need to go pants shopping.

Here is my declaration to the world: I NEED PANTS! GIVE ME PANTS! LET ME WEAR PANTS!

5/100 Blogs in 100 Days

So, at my elementary school, there were two playgrounds. The little kids used the tiny playground for recess and the big kids used the larger one. One fantastic upgrade on the larger playground was the addition of the swing set.

Was this a big deal for fifth grader me? Yes. Yes, it was.

The only problem with this new development was that it was also a big deal to other kids. Other, faster kids who would make it a point to sprint out of the school and toward that swing set like a bat out of hell.

I tried to beat them to it, but, almost always failed. And, since there were only four good swings and the rest hung so low to the ground your ass would drag, I was shit outta luck most days.

I remember the good days, though. When my favorite teacher would be on recess duty and all the kids would rather play tag with him. I sucked at tag, so I never played and that meant that the swing sets were almost completely empty. So, I would steal the best swing and save the second best for whatever friend I was hanging out with that day.

We would pump our little fifth grade legs and tip our heads back until my hair dragged in the dirt. Was this disgusting? Yes. Did I care? No.

Elementary school was great. Recess was great. Would I rather be there than in high school? Yes. But, at least high school gets me closer to college which might get me closer to my dream of NYU becoming a reality.

School is such a jungle. The steps you take are almost never forward, it seems. They are just steps avoiding treachery and peril.

4/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Sometimes, when you spend a majority of your summer wearing jeans, you don't realize how good it feels to lounge around in old shorts that you just found sitting on your bedroom floor and watch DVDs of your favorite people with commentary and laugh your ass off.

Doing it in shorts is way different than in jeans. Trust me on this. Way different.

I love that the first time I watched Stella, I only watched it to laugh my ass off at the ridiculousness (whenever I say ridiculous in my head, I say it like ridikkulus from Harry Potter. The way David Thewlis says it in the movie. I am such a nerd.) of these three guys running around in suits and being brilliantly funny. But now that I have read the interviews and stuff, I can keep all the things they have said about it in mind while I watch.


Some of the shots in the show are really beautiful. Not the stock footage (which is actually really out of place and mismatchy sometimes) but the shots of the apartment or whatever. I love listening to them talk about the lighting and everything. It fascinates me.

Of course, among the fascinating stuff is an assortment of fart jokes, random cursing, and eating obnoxiously which is really the reason I fell in love with them in the first place. They are complete and total leotards.

Today, I am planning on doing some screencaps for my Michael Showalter tumblelog (I am a shameless self promoter). Maybe of the Stella Shorts, The Baxter, or Stella the TV show. Or maybe I won't do that. Anything can happen.

3/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Today was sunburn, picnicking, and aching feet. Today was swimming, sliding, and friendship.

Last night, I spent the night at Kiri's house and I spent today with her family at a water park. I am bright red all over my shoulders, back, and face. Kiri's mom noticed my tomato red face, my stepdad saw it first thing. I always get severely burnt whenever I spend the day in a bathing suit. I never ever tan. I'm either so pale I might as well be transparent or red to the point of being impossible to miss.

I had to borrow a swimsuit from Kiri. Or, rather, she was gracious enough to lend me one. I never wear any bathing suit with two pieces, but, it's not as if I have anything against them, so I wore a tankini type thing with a skirt bottom and a striped top. Of course, there were enough girls in bikinis to make me look down at myself and doubt my own appearance. But, I figure if they are allowed to walk around with only the bare essentials on, I'm allowed to walk around with a perfectly decent tank and skirt combo.

It's ridiculous to feel insecure just because other girls are smaller or bigger or wider or thinner. Your body is your own and you should embrace it. "Beach/Bikini Season" shouldn't change that.

Nothing much to say about the day itself other than the fact that it was fantastic and I'm glad I went. Everyone was perfectly kind and funny. I had a lot of fun spending time with Kiri both last night and today.

The only thing I might have changed is the sensation that I am now wrapped up in a blanket of hot coals due to this scorching sunburn.

2/100 Blogs in 100 Days

I love hearing from friends when I'm not expecting it. Most times, it's just texts from mainly two different friends. Kiri and Kayla. They are the two people I love to hear from a lot.

I had a dream that I got the money to see Kayla in California last night. Michael Showalter was in my dream, too. So exciting. But, very weird. I am confused by it now, but, at the time it seemed to make perfect sense. Most times, I like dreams like that.

So, I texted Kayla about the dream and we were talking. Then, Kiri texted me and invited me to many and varied theme parks, including a water park tomorrow with her family.

The thing about me is, I don't normally contact my friends about hanging out. This can be taken poorly by some (or most) but it is almost never personal. I am just lazy. It occurs to me 'Hey, I want to see Kiri' but it never occurs to me to take the initiative and tell her I want to see her.

It's always sort of been that way with me. But, whenever anyone asks, I want to. I ask my parents immediately, I say yes! So it's not about the friend in question, it's about my laziness and my stupidity. I love it when friends make plans with me.

I think my birthday party might help me take a step toward not sucking at contacting friends and making plans. It won't be too many people, but, I think that inviting the few people over who I am actually inviting will help me squash out my habit of neglecting friends.

The point is, I am seeing my bestest friend tonight/tomorrow and I am getting very excited for it. I am still like a five year old in this sense. Treats like this thrill me.

1/100 Blogs in 100 Days

Starting today, I am going to write a blog post a day for 100 days. I will call this project 100 Blogs in 100 Days. Inspired by Michael Showalter's (as most things are these days) failed attempt on his myspace blog, I think that I will do a better job. At least I'll last more than, like, 1o days.

I think that this will be good for me. It will make me flex my creative writing muscle more than I usually do, because, despite some people's popular beliefs, blogging does take some serious thought. If you keep a blog, you know what I mean.

Today, I volunteered at the library. I've been trying to pick up more hours (at my mother's request) so I volunteered on Thursday as well. On Thursday, I was in the children's section, but, today I was in the adult/young adult portion of the library. I ran off some copies, shredded some paper, and reshelved some books.

There was another volunteer working on putting books back on the shelves from a separate cart from mine. He sported a red tshirt, cargo shorts, sneakers, a dark colored beard, and thin framed glasses. I had seen him working on another Saturday, probably a month ago. Then, he was wearing an awesome Star Wars tshirt. Of course, this means I love him.

So, we both ended up reshelving adult fiction at the same time. I had to hide in the Ss while I waited for him to finish in the Hs before I felt comfortable enough to approach those shelves. We finished the hardcovers at the same time and moved onto books on tape. It's not as if I have a crush on him or anything, but, it was interesting to navigate the small sections of the library while we were forced to share them.

Today was one of the best days for volunteering, definitely. Only one person asked me a question, which has to be a record, and it was not crowded at all. Those are my favorite days.

Now, I am kicking back with a salad and some meatless ziti and listening to my mom read aloud from a book about the filmography of Frank Sinatra. It's interesting to listen to her talk to my stepdad about movies. They know so much. They throw names back and forth like they are playing tennis (and my stepdad even throws in the violent gesticulations to boot.)

One blog down, ninety-nine to go.

Stories

I love to tell and hear stories. Through song, or prose, or just talking. I find the development of stories, real or fake, to be fascinating and amazing, no matter how boring or stupid the story itself is.

I love how almost everything can tell a story, if you want it to. A piece of paper on the table that isn't yours, or a lost pair of shoes left in a parking lot, in the empty space next to your car.

You always wonder to yourself what happened, how did it get there, how long will it stay there? And if you don't, you have absolutely no curiosity in your body. So leave me alone.

Next time you have a story to tell, just assume that someone wants to hear it and tell it. You never know how it might change the person you tell it to. That sounds silly, but, it's so true. What are books, but stories? And how many books have changed lives?

Don't hold in your words. Let them out in music, or drawings, or poems, or whatever you want.

The story belongs to you, and it's up to you how you release it into the world.

Stories are so beautiful. I hate to see them wasted.

HP

It's 8AM, y'all, and you know what that means?

HARRY POTTER MOVIE MARATHON.

Yup. Even though I am apparently missing the first DVD. Wtf?

I love watching them go from little runts into men and women.

It's actually kinda creepy.

:D

Lots of Pictures

Often times, being a 14-year-old (soon to be 15) girl, I can gain crushes on a variety of actors or musicians or just plain guys. It's sort of a gift/curse deal, which most people reading this (I don't expect many guys except Hunter, and he probably experiences the same thing with females) understand.

What doesn't normally happen is me getting crushes on guys from fandoms I don't even follow. (See: Zachary Quinto or Chris Pine. I don't watch Heroes and I didn't see the Star Trek movie.)

Lately, I am overwhelmed with crushes on the most random guys. I think that this is mostly due to tumblr. I follow 269 people, many of them from many different fandoms, so I see a lot of different people on my dashboard everyday.

Jake Gyllenhaal is a good example.
If you asked me to name something I have seen him in and loved off the top of my head, I couldn't.

I've been thinking about him more and more since the main character of When it Happens (a book a wonderful friend of mine let me borrow) mentioned that she had a crush on him and said she was dating him. "Dating," of course, the same way I am "dating" Remus Lupin.

This one started innocently. I had a total girl crush (which is a subject that I will be getting to) on his sister Maggie and when I looked for pictures of her, I found a bunch of them together that were really cute.

But, come on. Does this really need that much of an explanation? Look at him! He is the perfect example of the dark-hair-sweet-eyes combo that I have always loved so much. I haven't found a picture or video of him yet that has given me second thoughts. Does it get any better than that?

Or take, as I said, Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine. I haven't seen them in anything prominent either.

Yet, I find myself instantly drawn to any pictures or videos of them I see. Suddenly, I want to see the Star Trek movie and hunt down old TV shows (like Lizzie McGuire, cello) that Zach was on before he hit it big with Sylar (see? I know his character name!) on Heroes.

Don't get me wrong, though. Nothing could make me watch Heroes. SHAZZAM. I'm just kidding of course. Heroes is a perfectly acceptable TV program. I just don't watch it, that's all.

Seth Meyers. Good lord, the list goes on.
He has a beautiful smile and look at those dimples!I have always loved Weekend Update, but, after Amy left I was sort of "eh" about it.

Then, I took a second look at this hot slice of a goose and changed my mind.

He doesn't make the jokes any funnier. They were always funny, anyway. Still, a face like that can make the bad ones go down easier, right?

He's the head writer on SNL for goodness sakes. You'll see later in the list that that might be kind of a trend.

Like, with Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer.
Andy, too. The three of them make for one awesome combination of hilarity, genius, and hotness.

Take this picture for an example. There are a billion others, but, this is the most recent I have fallen in love with.

Jorma has such a sweet smile! So does Andy. Here he just looks silly, though.

Akiva is my favorite. I think everyone here (ie, the two people who read this regularly) are going to notice this: I love nerds. Regardless of a guy's looks, if he is nerdy there is a good chance that if I get to know him, I will like him more than other people.

With Akiva, the cuteness helps things along. I love his glasses.

This is why these guys showed up so much on my YouTube ritual blog post. They are such studs! Nerdy, adorable, funny, silly studs.

Silliness is a key factor to me liking someone, as a friend or otherwise. You have to be able to be silly and appreciate its art.

With these three, it's not as much a random event, but, I count it because I didn't really like Jorm as much until I started following a Jorm blog on tumblr.

Having nothing to do with random crushes is: Michael Showalter.
God, I love this man.

I watched his new show (with Michael Ian Black) premiere last night, and I laughed out loud almost the entire time. It was so awesome.


























I love how the two of them play off each other. It's just so perfect. I've loved it since I started watching Stella (both the standup and the TV show.) I went to see them live and it was amazing. David Wain is great, too. He directed one of my favorite movies, Role Models and is hilarious himself. He and Black were both in Michael Showalter's movie The Baxter. I love seeing them all work together.

The three of them were also in a comedy show on MTV called The State that came out on DVD today. My mom had been waiting for it for ages and I had never seen it so we sat down and watched about a disc and a half yesterday.

All I have to say is, if you ever get the chance to watch The State, do it. You won't regret it.

And if you do, you and I probably wouldn't get along.

:D

So, those are some of the most crushes at the moment. There are so many more. That's the great thing about crushes: You don't have to stay commited to one like a boyfriend or anything.

I will probably blog about my girl crushes later, in a separate post. That's a whole other arena.

Friends

You are like a puzzle that walked into my life, every piece clinging to each other perfectly. You were beautiful and I had you all figured out.

Gradually, pieces that I was so sure of just started going missing. A little piece here, a piece there. I watched my idea of you fall apart, slowly but surely.

At some point, I started trying to put everything back together with tape and glue, but, of course it doesn't work that way. It takes something stronger.

One day, you were just a vague idea of the person I once thought I knew. So, I picked up all the pieces that had fallen apart over time and started putting them back together, slowly but surely.

Now, you're still a puzzle. Some pieces aren't meant to be put in their place. I'm ok with that. It still gets frustrating, though, to try and figure out your words and my actions.

I just wanted to let you know that it's ok. We're friends, now, and that's the best thing that could've happened.

Travel Log: July 4, 2009

I woke up at 9:30AM with the rest of my family, and me, my sister, and my stepdad went downstairs to get breakfast for the whole family. While the omelets and the muffins are all very exciting, I don't think that that is the most important part of this story.

We left on time, all dressed up and ready to rock New York City. The bus was exactly where it was supposed to be. We all climbed aboard and I sat next to David, in the window seat.

The Lincoln tunnel was amazing. I don't know exactly why, but, pretty colors always catch my attention. Maybe I'm really a cat or a goldfish or something. That would explain a lot. Anyway, we drove from our hotel in New Jersey to The City and I was reminded of how much I love it there.


When I sit around at home in Pennsylvania, sometimes I wonder if I could handle NYC. Sure, I always say I want to live there and everything. I say I want to be a writer in The Big Apple! But, would I survive? In Pennsylvania, it seems to scary to attempt.

But, let me tell you something, friends: dreams always seem more terrifying when you are looking at them from a distance. When I stepped off that bus (then took the next few hundred steps through the big ol' bus terminal) and stepped into the city, I was blown away yet again by how much I want to spend my life there.

It's amazing what happens when you reacquaint yourself with dreams.


So, our first stop was Times Square. I love Times Square so much. Maybe I'm going to come off sounding like a country girl, but, the lights and the sounds dazzle me. No, wait. I actually sound more like Bella. DAZZLE'D!

While I was trying to take a picture of the Wicked billboard, a guy walked in front of my camera, so I got a close up of his face instead. Here are the pictures that I kept to prove it:



But, still. We went to the Toys R Us in Times Square and I rode the huge ferris wheel in there for the second time ever with my mom and my sister. We got a magnet of it. Tres chic!

I'm not going to catalogue every step I took, every bite of food I ate, ever breath I took- No. Instead, I'll just say that the play was amazing. I saw my very first show on Broadway (and found out that I will see my second with my best friend in the beginning of January!) and it was every bit as good as I was hoping it would be.

I saw God of Carnage, and after I got to meet Jeff Daniels (he rushed, but wasn't unfriendly. He took my Playbill and held it for a few moments, just looking around him and not at me. I savored those moments, regardless. He signed my Playbill and moved on),

James Gandolfini (he came out last and was all smiles and very sweet in general. When he got to me, he took my Playbill and said 'Hey.' I, of course, froze up because I am a dork. I nodded. That's cool, right? The nod? Then he asked 'How ya doin'?' and I told him 'Pretty good.' Awww yeah, baby. I am hot shit. Then he scribbled on my Playbill with some purple Sharpie. My mom later informed me that the big mark he left was supposed to be his name. I still don't see it. Hmmm.),

Hope Davis (she was really sweet to everyone, even the ones yelling questions and such. She smiled and took my Playbill and signed it with the most care of all of them. Her H is beautifully done),

and Marcia Gay Harden (who thanked each and every one of us who waited for them for coming out and seeing the show. She had to borrow someones Sharpie to sign things and I think she may have broken it. Ah, memories).

The point is, we walked around the city all day and when we got to the theater, I sat down and breathed it in. I breathed in the people around me, the ones I loved and the ones I had never met, and I breathed in the streets outside, the buildings and the billboards.

I sound like such a cliche, but, I want to live in that city. I want to breathe it in every waking second. I want to live it every day, not just on some lucky Saturdays. Someday, I may crave another place, but, right now I love that city and I want to go back every chance I get.

I'm in love with a city. I know, I know. I'm quite the romantic.

The Great Escape

This summer has quickly become movie filled.

I like the feeling of finishing a movie. When you first see the credits start to scroll and that song starts up. That song that plays to the exact emotions you're supposed to be feeling after that final scene.

There is no arguing against liking that feeling of finishing a movie, I don't think.

Whether you liked the movie or not, it must be satisfying. If you liked it, you liked it. You're left thinking about the characters or what's going to happen to them now that they are off in that whiteness of everything we don't know about that fictional world they are in. If you hated it, you hated it. You're left frustrated that you devoted two hours of your life to caring what happened to those characters in that fictional world. You want to get up, stretch your legs, and move on. And now that it's over, you can.

I'm glad that movies exist. Books are great and grand and everything between, but, movies are a different kind of escape. I think that when you see the wrinkles in her jeans or the vase on the bookshelf in the background that slip through authors' fingers, those little things are there for you to see in movies. I like that.

I'm glad for good movies. I'm glad for good directors, and good actors, and good producers.

I like this brand of escape.

In My Dreams

Last night was no good. Moving on.

I had a dream last night about John Green where he was wearing this really cool dress shirt/vest/tie combo and he was at my school. I was running around, looking for something (like I always seem to be in dreams) when I saw him in the hallway. I ran up to him and hugged him and I was like. "I met you in Lancaster! And I wrote you an email! My name is Julia!" And he actually remembered me and smiled at me. He was like, "Wow, thanks Julia."

Then, I had to keep on running because whatever I was looking for was apparently more important than my biggest hero not only remembering who I was but being genuinely pleased to see me.

It was a great dream moment for me. It was also my fourth ever dream about John Green.

It's stupid.

This seems so trivial, and I know there are a billion reasons to explain it away, but, there is a trend on tumlbr going around where you can post a link to your formspring and people post things to/about you anonymously.

Everyone who I follow keeps on getting all of these nice things and questions and they keep on saying how moved they are by all of it an everything.

So far, I have gotten three submissions and it's starting to make me sad. None of them are even about me personally, they are more like confessions. I don't understand why no one has anything to say to me. Apparently, no one on tumblr has any opinion about me or anything they want to know about me.

It's a stupid things to get upset about, but, every time I see someone I follow on tumblr responding to things from their formspring, I get sad.

It's stupid.

I know this seems like a pointless post, but, trust me because it means a lot to me.

As I am starting this, it is 4:39AM.

I just finished watching WALL-E like ten minutes ago.

I cried.

I should really go to bed earlier, but, I just couldn't help myself.

I love movies.

My Daily YouTube Ritual

Along with spending all day on my tumblr (I know, I am a total tumblr pimp) I also spend a lot of time listening to songs and watching videos on YouTube.

I have certain ones that I watch every day. Most times more than once a day. I am making a Top 10 List of the ones I watch/love the most. (Starting with 10- the least- and making my way to 1- the most.)

10. Driftless Pony Club - Pluto vs. Neptune (Live)
Genre: Music

Freaturing The Wheezy Waiter, who I love, on vocals and guitar. (The one with the sweet beard to the right.)

9. Sandboxes - Danielle Ate The Sandwich
Genre: Music

She is such an inspirtation, and this song is great. I love it when she plays guitar.

8. Awesometown - Chip
Genre: Comedy

This is hilarious. I love these boys.

7. Next To Normal - Superboy and The Invisible Girl
Genre: Music

I am so obsessed with this musical.

6. Who's Gonna Save My Soul - Gnarls Barkley
Genre: Music

The genre is music, but, I also have this for watching value because of a Mr. Taccone!

5. Coconut Records - Microphone
Genre: Music & Cuteness

Jason Schwartzman and an amazing song. Cuteness and music.

4. Ka-Blamo! - The Lonely Island
Genre: Comedy & Music

Did I mention that these dudes rock my world? You're water is watery...That's ka-blamo!

3. Next To Normal - You Don't Know
Genre: Music


2. News Getters - Starring Akiva
Genre: Hilariousness & Silly

Akiva is my faaaaaaavorite. And now I'm sure you can see why.

1. Awesometown - 21 Questions
Genre: Comedy

Otherwise know as: I couldn't pick a number 1 so I just stuck this in there 'cause I love it so much.

Congratulations: You just got a breif glimpse into the non-existent life of a fourteen year old girl who loves The Lonely Island and Broadway!

Unexpectedly Profound

Have you ever felt something profound for someone unexpectedly?

It can get hard to be consumed by something that you're never felt and can't explain, but, what if it happens constantly? Do you think you can adjust to the profoundness of the feelings in your heart, throughout your soul?

Finding methods of coping all depends on the situation, who you are, and what you're feeling.

If there is something beautiful and brilliant and profound, is there a way to stop it from punching you in the gut and stealing all of the breath out of your lungs again and again and again?

I'm just curious.

Things I Liked About Today

1. Wearing my friendship ring while playing guitar on Rock Band.
2. Eating ice cream in honor of my sister turning 19.
3. Not feeling fat despite being fat.
4. Being very honest with myself and not having to be honest out loud.

Today was not the best day ever. There are certainly things about it that I detest. But, those four things were good and I am not about to deny it.

I'm a bad seed.

I feel tired. Every piece of me is heavy and I am simply exhausted.

Still, I feel good too. I am torn two ways. The first way is kind of sucky and the second way is liberating. Some moments, I feel fat and odd and unworthy of a lot of things. Then others, I just feel free of everything- my body and my life- and I am just a brain and a heart.

I like being so free of everything, but, once I come back I am swallowed by my body and I remember why none of my daydreams will ever come true. My stomach.

There are boys that run around in my mind. I like them in suits. I like them in jeans. I like them quiet or loud. Funny and lovable. I like to be obsessed with boys and to devote myself to them until the next one comes along.

It doesn't hurt anyone, either. Because all they are is pixels and ink. They might as well be imaginary.

The real ones haven't made that sort of impression on me. Not yet.

I'm still waiting to see which real life boy will steal my heart and never return it. It's going to be interesting when it happens, that much is for sure. I hope it doesn't hurt too bad.

Last night,

Last night, I was keeping track of the time, but, not connecting times with the thought "Wow, that's pretty late, I should go to bed."

You know I was watching The Office, but, what you may not know is that I was trying to watch all three seasons in order. Every episode.

And last night (or this morning, I guess), at 5:37AM, I completed that goal.

Then, I proceeded to collapse on my bed and sleep until noon today.

But, before it was finished, I think it was beautiful. I was alone in the living room. It was light, then it was dark, then darker, then light again. There were still shadows, but, I could see green leaves out the window.

I could see the world was waking up while I was getting ready to pass out.

Today will probably consist of catching up on sleep and catching up on my tumblr. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night, internet.

Kiri

With the 'best friend' I used to have, I really feel and felt like I was always just superior.

I would listen to her sing and know I could do better. I would read her writing and know that I was better. We were in 2 plays together, and I knew that I was putting a better foot forward.

It got tiring, having to encourage her and convince her she was good when I never actually believed it.

We stopped talking, and I was relieved (not just for this reason, but, for a variety of reasons.) It took a while to cut the tie, but, now it is and I am so much happier for it.

This year, I met a girl. Her name is Kiri. Kiri (I hope she doesn't mind my saying) is my best friend.

It definitely is not tiring, being friends with her. I feel like we have a balance of talent and enthusiasm that blends well together.

She is a much better singer than I am, and I love her for it. I love to listen to her sing and be able to just sit back and say 'Yes, she is better than me. And I love to hear that superiority.'

She tells me I am a great writer, and while I love to read what she writes, I still think I am a better writer. I'm glad for the fact that she likes to read what I write, and that she actually does read all of it.

When we are on the stage, we both go all out.

I love us as a friendship. I've never been so glad for a friendship ending, because without Amanda and I quitting, I may have never gotten close with Kiri. And I love her a lot.

The Dundies

I am watching The Office. I finished season one a few minutes ago, so now I am onto the first episode of season two: The Dundies!

Certain parts of these episodes just make me explode with laughter. Mostly things that Jim or Pam say and do.

I love me some PB & J.

Summer Tuesday

I stayed up until 2AM last night.

I haven't stayed up past midnight in a while. It felt good.

I was sitting on a chair on the laptop/writing in one of my journals while my brother and his friend sat on the couch opposite my chair and played Playstation 3.

I felt at ease. It was really nice.

Today, I woke up at ten o'clock. I haven't slept in past nine in a while. It felt good, so, I went back to sleep and stayed in bed until eleven.

Now, I am wearing my Cinematic Titanic tshirt and eating a brownie cake for breakfast.

Summer tastes sweet.

Cinematic Titanic

I was born in the year 1994. Keeping that in mind: according to a reliable source (IMDb) Mystery Science Theater 3000 ran from the year 1988-1999. This means I was around five years old when it went off the air. Hardly old enough to have had the time to watch or enjoy the show.

Luckily for me, I have a mom who was out of diapers, watching, and enjoying the show for me at the time. She raised me on brilliant music, brilliant TV shows, and brilliant movies my whole life.

When Cinematic Titanic came out recently, I knew Joel, Frank, and Trace from MST3k. We bought the DVDs and my mom, my brother, and I each had our own geeky little meltdowns while watching something new from five of the funniest people we know.

Well, we've watched every Cinematic Titanic DVD that has been released with nerdy joy. And we found out that they were taking the show on a live tour. Needless to say, my mom had yet another meltdown and we bought tickets.

On Saturday, we went to see them in Philly.

The gig was sold out. The line to get in ran all the way around the block.

The theater was very cool. We sat in balcony seats on what were essentially red cushioned bleachers. I sat next to my mom. We were both shaking with nerves and excitement while we waited for someone-anyone-to come on stage.

Our prayers were answered when Gruber (as pictured to the left) came onstage and saved us! He warmed us up with some haikus and some stand-up, along with music from J. Elvis and TV's Frank!

Finally, after an eternity of 10 minute warnings, Joel came onstage, sharply dressed in a suit and tie, with his microphone and introduced all of the Titans and the movie itself.

"This movie features probably the worst movie monster of all time. And I've seen some bad movie monsters."

We all cheered our hearts out as Mary Jo, Trace, Frank, Josh, and Joel all took their places and the countdown to the movie began.

The jokes were brilliant, of course. I wasn't expecting any less. They all had incredible timing. They were making the audience and each other laugh. I watched Joel drink his pop and all of them turn the pages of their scripts as the movie went on.

It was an incredible experience that I am so glad I got to share with my mom.

After the movie (and the Best Of reel) were through, we bought tshirts and got in line to meet the Titans.

My mom and I were still shaking as the line moved slowly (almost everyone who had attended was sticking around.)

At one point, we noticed Gruber working through the line and saying hello to everyone. He approached us and said hello to each of us individually, then started up a conversation with my mom. "You do a great job leading them in," she told him, and all of us smiled. (On the CT DVDs, Gruber leads them into the theater and introduces the movie.)

He was very gracious and said thank you. "You recognized me, huh? I think it was Joel's idea...You know, I've had my hair long for quite some time. He rigged up the ponytail with som cardboard." And all of us laughed.

He pulled out a small card that had the Cinematic Titanic logo on it with all of their sillohuettes. He drew himself with blue sharpie and signed it "Hey, from Gruber," then left us to wait in line again.

We were the last people in line, and as we got closer to the Titan's table, we notcied Trace was heading through the line and signing things for the people who were still waiting. He signed my DVD and my brother got a picture of him with his phone.

















J. Elvis was first at the table. He signed my DVD and shook my hand. Then, Mary Jo. She signed my DVD and then paused, just looking at the disc itself that my mom had labeled 'Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.' "Have you been borrowing?" Mary Jo asked. My throat was dry, and I found I couldn't speak, but, I heard my mom answer from behind me. Frank was the last one sitting and he signed as well and shook my hand.

Last but not least, Joel was standing at the end of the table. He signed everything we had, shook all of our hands and said hello, then let us all gather around for a nice picture (which is yet to be uploaded to the computer).














In this picture, he is actually poking John's stomach as an alternative to standing awkwardly and waiting for a handshake.

Thinking about Saturday still makes me giddy.

In short: Best. Night. Ever.

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night.

Things today is:
---the last day of school
---my sister's graduation
---baffling
---a very good time

I'm still sort of surprised by the fact that school is over. It feels like I'll have to go back on Monday anyway. I'm not sure why. People keep on saying "Yes! School is over!" and I just sort of stare at them blankly. It's strange.

School got out at ten o'clock exactly. I spent all of my time at school wandering around or talking to friends in "classes." It was mostly just boring, but, I'm glad I went anyway. I got to see everyone.

After school, I went out with friends to swim. Pools aren't really open so we went down to the ol' swimming hole. It was me, five other girls, and a guy. On the way away from school, I drove in the car with Kiri and Emily. While we were driving, we listened to "I Gotta Feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas. Something about driving with that song playing and the wind whipping my hair in my face made me feel liberated.

So, the school year is over. I'll miss some people who I won't get to see every day, but, I'm going to talk to all the people who I want to.

I hope this summer is as amazing as I expect.

ELVIS COSTELLO: OMG I LOVE YOU EDITION

On Tuesday, June 9, I, Julia Metzgar, experienced one of the best concerts ever performed and the best one I have ever attended.

It was Elvis Costello.

The theater was just beautiful. In the middle of the ceiling was a huge, sparkling chandelier that was hanging from a circular portion of the ceiling that was painted to look like a blue, cloudy sky. Before the concert started, I stared at it and was almost convinced it was a window.

When he came onstage, he was wearing a great purple hat and a very stylish pink tie. I love all of his outfits, and I was very excited to see what he would wear. He was sweating like a whore in church through the whole concert, but, he does look great in a suit.

I am going to name a few songs that you may or may not know. If you don't know Elvis, I suggest very highly that you get to know him. He is probably my favorite recording artist ever.

He opened with a song I love called "My Resistance is Low." He did a great job. He and his band, The Sugarcanes. (His new album is called "Secret, Profane and Sugarcane".)

Some of the more noteable songs that he performed were a "Delivery Man" and a bluegrass version of "Everyday I Write The Book" that I loved. There was also a song off of the new album that I love called "Sulfur to Sugarcane." At the end, there are notes that he really sings and holds. When he sang them, I just couldn't stop smiling. He is a spectacular performer.

Though there were some foolish (and drunk) audience members-- screaming out things like "ROCK N' ROLL!" when it was a bluegrass/country concert, and "WE LOVE YOU, ELVIS!" to which Elvis responded "We love you, too. Both individually and as a group." -- the concert went fairly smoothly. He came back for a full half hour of encores, if that gives you any idea.

After, we waited around back to see if he would come out and talk to anyone. He did, and it was great. John (my brother) got an autograph, just as I did the first time I saw an Elvis Costello concert. I didn't get to talk to Elvis, but, seeing him made me equally happy.

The setlist can be found at the bottom of this review.

Spectacle

I'm going to see Elvis Costello live in concert tonight. I'm getting really excited. This will be my third time seeing him, counting when he opened for The Police and I went.

Seeing him is always a thrill, live or not. He's a real spectacle. (There's a reference for fans of his talk show on Sundance.)

I'm not in school right now, and I won't be tomorrow either. I'm really going to miss my friends after school is over. I only get one more full day with them.

Hopefully they miss me, too.

Whoomp.

That about sums it up.

Yep.

Procrastinate Delay

The school year ends on Friday.

I am not going to school tomorrow or Wednesday.

It's a weird feeling. I'm torn between elation at the thought of not having any more work to do or school-related stress to deal with and sadness at the thought of not having my friends to talk to on a daily basis.

I'm writing things for all of my closer friends. Hopefully I finish everything before Friday and they can all have the things I write them.

I'm going to try to get a lot of writing done today. Specifically, I am going to try not to get distracted by Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone. God, I love them. Boys have got a hold on me. Especially the funny ones.

Movie Tiem

This weekend, I saw two hilarious movies.

One with my family, and one with Kiri (Like Woah.)

Like woah, indeed, Kiri's name. LIKE WOAH, INDEED.

The Hangover and Land of The Lost.

Both fil-ums were heartfelt, playful romps.

Ok, maybe not.

But, they were both hilarious.

http://www.nataliedee.com/

Paul Simon - Graceland

The Mississippi Delta was shining
like a National guitar.
I am following the river
down the highway
through the cradle of the civil war.

I'm going to Graceland
Graceland
in Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland.

Poor boys and Pilgrims with families
and we are going to Graceland.
My traveling companion is nine years old
he is the child of my first marriage,
but I've reason to believe
we both will be received
in Graceland.

She comes back to tell me she's gone.
As if I didn't know that,
as if I didn't know my own bed,
as if I'd never noticed
the way she brushed her hair from her forehead.
And she said losing love
is like a window in your heart:
Everybody sees you're blown apart,
everybody sees the wind blow.

I'm going to Graceland,
Memphis Tennessee.
I'm going to Graceland,
Poor boys and Pilgrims with families
and we are going to Graceland.

And my traveling companions
are ghosts and empty sockets;
I'm looking at ghosts and empties,
but I've reason to believe
we all will be received
in Graceland.

There is a girl in New York City
who calls herself the human trampoline;
And sometimes when I'm falling flying
or tumbling in turmoil I say
'Whoa so this is what she means.'
She means we're bouncing into Graceland.
And I see losing love
is like a window in your heart:
Everybody sees you're blown apart,
everybody feels the wind blow.

In Graceland Graceland,
I'm going to Graceland.
For reasons I cannot explain
there's some part of me wants to see
Graceland.
And I may be obliged to defend
every love every ending
or maybe there's no obligations now.
Maybe I've a reason to believe
we all will be received
in Graceland.

(Pause)

Woah in Graceland Graceland Graceland
I'm going to Graceland

Top 10 Things About Saturday

(in no particular order)

10. Getting to sleep in two extra hours instead of having to set my alarm for 6 AM.

9. Volunteering at a quiet, air conditioned library where the ladies who work there remember my name and are nice enough.

8. Listening to the Oingo Boingo mix that Vito made me and making mixes for him and other friends.

7. Writing short stories for new and old friends.

6. Sitting at Barnes & Nobles, feeling trendy with my notebook a small pile of novels pulled from the shelves.

5. Talking/playing PS3 with my brother.

4. Driving past Hillside and seeing a woman sitting alone on the grass with an ice cream cone and having a good laugh about it.

3. Talking to my good friend in California about coffee shop snobs and deaf guys at the mall.

2. Feeling more excited by the minute about The Hangover later tonight.

1. Getting txts from one of my best friends reminding me that we are going to see Land of the Lost on Sunday.